Stop pining for something you already are. Just be it.

“Stop pining for something you already are. Just be it.”

I wrote that line in my journal this morning. It came to me after three pages of yearning—for more ideas, more progress, more opportunities, more of the life I’m already living. Three pages of brainstorming, trying to solve the problem of more. How do I become a more successful writer? How do I get more Substack subscribers? How do I get more copywriting clients? How do I make more money as a writer? 

I knew it was a bad time for this kind of journaling session. I’m currently sick with a summer cold, feeling like a used napkin, useless and a little damp. Yet I kept at it, wrote about it for three whole pages until finally the real wisdom came through in that very last line: “Stop pining for something you already are. Just be it.”

Thank god for my inner wisdom, for journaling as a tool that puts me in touch with that wisdom, for the reminder I needed most.

I am not against forward momentum. I love to set goals. I’m willing to work hard. I believe I make my own destiny, that I have the power to change aspects of my life that don’t suit me, that I am an active participant and agent for change in my own life. I believe I am full of potential—there is so much I want to write and create and do, so many amazing projects I want to be part of, to bring to life, there are so many stories I want to tell, so many words to write and share, so many people to meet and connect. I am hungry for everything my life will be and become.

The thing is that I tend to slip from this place of power and anticipation to one of helplessness. It happens subtly, without my noticing at first. I go from gratitude to desperation, abundance to scarcity, creative to stuck, having/being to pining. I’ve noticed that this sense of wanting isn’t just about external things—it usually has more to do with who I am at my core. Like I want to be something I’m not. Except I amalready that thing. 

I want to be a successful writer, but I already am a writer. 

I want to be someone with a successful business, but I already am an independent writer with multiple clients. 

I want to be someone who is paid for their writing, but I already am paid for my writing.

I want to be a connector, but I already am a connector. 

I want. I want. I want. But I already am.

This is the place I was in when I finally finished my three pages of journaling and wrote that last line of brilliant insight: 

“Stop pining for something you already are. Just be it.”

It’s a reminder that when I slip into lack, I don’t need more. No amount of pining, wishing, wanting will be enough to ease the pain of the outdated stories I’m holding on to about myself, because they just don’t match the person I am today. They haven’t caught up to the version of my life that exists now.

What I need, really, is to focus on being (and being grateful for) all that I already am. The writer, the connector, the paid writer, the successful business owner—I don’t need to do anything to become them. I just need to be them. Right here, right now.

With practice and patience, the stories at my core will eventually catch up.